I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I only feel alone because I have not included myself in Life - I have not expanded myself to include all Life As Me - and I have thus made ‘life’ into the search for others who share my limited self definitions so I can feel like I have ‘companionship’ in existence - not realizing that this companionship is not real because when I lose a friend, then I feel alone again which shows that at my core, I have not yet decided that I am even alive - because if I was alive - I would be Life - and as Life I cannot feel lonely because I include All as Myself and I am Here with All Life - how can I be lonely when I am Here in existence with billions of beings? How can I be lonely if I am All Life?


I commit myself to stop defining myself in a limited way based on interests, preferences, lifestyle, fashions, tastes, beliefs, opinions, so that I can stop existing as a personality that must seek validation and companionship through finding similar personalities to be in relationship with where we agree with each other and fuel our self definitions by only talking about / participating in things that support our self definitions - therein excluding ourselves from all there is to consider / be aware of / participate with as LIFE

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to hide from my inner experience of myself through allowing myself to manipulate others egos so that they’ll say things that stroke my own ego so I can feel better about myself 

I realize that to give Life to myself, I must decide I am Life, and remove all self definitions based in the acceptance of self as being less than All Life — but within this I realize I will have to walk a process of standing one and equal with all Life, in realizing I have separated myself from Life through and as a system of energy called the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I have allowed to exist as a representation of Life based on my own accepted self belief that I as a human am less than Life - and so I will have to dismantle my entire mind as all the patterns of my conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me in place of Life — wherein, I must replace ‘me as the mind’, with ‘me Here as Life’ - which will be a process of Self Creation — as Me as Life has never existed before and so I must create Me as Life through a process of stopping myself existing as the mind / energy / limited self definitions, so that I can rebirth myself anew in my physical body — and wherein I realize that what is Here as this reality is mostly stuff that I do not yet understand and thus am not Equal to it in fact — and so I will have to learn what exists here as this reality, how it works, how it is being created, so I can stand one and equal to it and integrate it as myself Here 

I commit myself to standing and walking with the group of people already transforming themselves from limited robots of energetic neediness and manipulation, to principled beings that stand as Life Together and do what is required to be done to create a new world system that supports ourselves as All Life

When and as I find myself not wanting to give up ‘my life’ of limited friendships based on relationships between limited self definitions, I stop myself and realize that I am part of the problem in this world when I am accepting and allowing friendships to exist, as I am saying it is okay and acceptable for human beings to accept themselves to be less than Life, which is then used as a justification to ‘just care about my own experience’ as self interest and not take responsibility for this world

When and as find myself blaming my friends / ex-friends for not ‘supporting me’ - I realize I am the one to blame for not supporting myself, because I am the one that accepts and allows myself to define myself in limited ways and to require others to validate me and accept me and support my personality — therefore I stop blame and I delete my limited personality / self definitions with self forgiveness so I can be free to expand my definition of Self to include all Life so I can stop requiring ‘friends’ to apparently ‘give me life’

Day 21: Stopping Friendships and Becoming a Friend to Life

Artwork and words by Matti Freeman  http://mfreemanjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

http://www.destonians.com